How To Be Vulnerable
By David McNeil
Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/jf1X3BzumaE
How do I be Vulnerable?
Being Vulnerable means sharing the feelings that make you feel bad. The ones that make you doubt yourself. The feelings that say, “you’re not good enough.” The deep level of anxiousness that’s been creeping over your shoulders for weeks and making them ache. Being vulnerable means we go to someone we trust, and we explain to them that we’re feeling this way and if we know the reason then we can share this too.
Being vulnerable doesn’t mean we’re asking them to fix your feelings or your problems; just for them to be able to listen to us and confirm that you’re still a valuable and significant human being.
What feelings might these be? These could include; guilt, anger, sorrow, anxiousness, fear, shame, embarrassment, being alone, afraid, betrayed and worthlessness. All the feelings that are pulling at your self-confidence and are freezing you up. Tying you in knots on the inside.
The sharing of our feelings is difficult, there is no denying that! What is more important though is who you choose to share them with. You can’t just choose anyone at random. You want to choose a person who has proven to you that they can keep information to themselves. The last thing you want is for your most personal secrets to suddenly be exposed for everyone to see. Find someone who can keep a secret. Additionally, that person needs to have empathy. Empawhat? Empathy. That’s when a person can listen to your crazy weird situation without changing how they feel about you. Because let’s be honest, the only reason we hesitate to share in the first place is because we think others might think worse of us. There is another word for what we’re looking for - compassion.
To start with you might have to choose someone who is a close friend or partner who has already gone through some life with you, or if your “friends” are only image deep then perhaps you might need to go to someone who is paid to be a listener. A counsellor, a psychologist, or perhaps a pastor of a church; they all have incredible amounts of compassion and I’m willing to bet my house that he or she has heard a similar story before, give great advice and will definitely tell you that you’re OK.
Make sure there is time. Do not share when there is only five minutes to talk. When I share I make sure I have 10 minutes at least. Time enough to make a mess of it and have it come out all wrong, then time enough to have another go at it. Then time enough to have the person I shared it with tell me I’m OK.
Being Vulnerable isn’t easy. But it will release you from some pretty heavy chains and give you back the happiness that might have been missing for a while.
Hey, thanks for listening. Be encouraged and we’ll see you in the next video!